my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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