No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
