Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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