Jerry, you need to find god
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Randomize
