I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
