I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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