Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
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I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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