maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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