If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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