halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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