I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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