yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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