OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.