Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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