had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
