I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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