the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
