You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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