Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
