I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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