That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
