If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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