More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
