hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
