Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
