i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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