I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
