When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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