They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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