You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
