HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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