It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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