did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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