just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
