Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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