We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
