Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
