I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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