Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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