Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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