dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
