the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize