Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
