This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
