So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
