her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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