she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
