Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
