Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
