I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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