i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
