Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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(516): View more from New York

please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.

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(315): View more from New York

We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

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(678): View more from Georgia

Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

(1-678): View more from Georgia

...

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(425): View more from Washington

It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.

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(540): View more from Virginia

And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...

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