No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's blow job season.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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