Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.