who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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