he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drake has all the answers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom