Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go