Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.