do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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