3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize