were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
