After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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