So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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