My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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