You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..