if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.