I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year