I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
